I pulled in to the parking lot at 8:43, making me on time for second period. This is uncharacteristic of Wednesday morning Sierra.

In civics, I decided to share out for the ‘CARE’ activity concerning gender issues. I said something along the lines of

“In Freshman year, I had really short hair. A lot of people made assumptions about my sexuality because of it, and I feel like people, especially other girls, felt uncomfortable around me for that reason.”

It made me feel so strangely good to finally say that to people other than my close friends. I felt strong and new. My teacher gave me a look of respect, and that always feels lovely.

For our free 4th period and lunch, Carlo and I decided to make brownies at my house. While we waited for them to cook, we sat on the steps that lead from an unnecessary door in my room to the backyard, looking out at the dirt which once had various plants growing in it (and long before then, apricot trees, back when our house was an orchard).

(Sitting there, I remembered being on those same steps a few years ago with some friends I had known from middle school. I was wearing makeup then, like I did every day. They told me that I didn’t have to put on makeup, I’m just hanging out with them. I barely talk to them now. We drifted apart, I guess.)

The rest of the day passed by pretty normally. I felt like I connected with some people I have been trying to get to know more today.

I keep thinking about graduation. When I flipped my Audrey Hepburn calender to February, an uncomfortable feeling punched me in the stomach.

But I guess it was a good day.